TO CLEAN, OR NOT TO CLEAN (The Booty-Hole)

This is not a post on the cleanliness of my ass; I shower 2-3 times a day, so my ass is very-very clean. This is a post about going through an extra step to make sure my ass is exponentially spotless for whatever activities may lay ahead.  

A few weeks ago, I had a dick appointment with one of my partners. I was looking forward to having my pussy eaten and fucked in all my holes. But, as luck would have it, I was worried about my approaching period. It was slated to come that week, and although I knew he was ok with fucking me during my period, I didn’t want certain activities to be off-limits. When he had to push it a week back, I thought to myself, great. My period would arrive in a day or two and be gone, or in the very least, extremely light, by the time we planned to meet up.   

A week passed, and no period came. I was hoping it would be a scenario where my period would disappear for a month (or two or three), as it had in the past. But the day I was finally going to get some long-awaited dick, I used the bathroom before getting into the shower, and BOOM! There was my period. I was immediately annoyed. I messaged him to let him know that I just started my period, and to confirm if he still wanted me to come over; he didn’t respond.   

The day after he and I first had sex, when he stuck his tongue and thumb in my ass, I went to the Pleasure Chest, in Manhattan, and purchased an anal douche the following day. Sure, my booty was clean, but I know I wasn’t sticking my finger all the way up to make sure the canal was clear. The last thing I wanted to see was poop on the condom, or him to see poop on his finger. So, despite the fact he called my booty ‘spotless,’ I didn’t want to take any chances. 

If you’ve never used an anal douche, trust me when I say, it’s a fucking process. It’s also easiest to do in the shower. You fill up the bottle with room temperature water, guide the nozzle up you booty-hole, then squeeze the water into your ass. You then get out of the tub, walk to the toilet, and push out the water. You do this a few more times until all the water comes out clear, confirming that your ass and the tunnel are thoroughly clean. It’s a hassle, it’s sometimes uncomfortable, and it’s not a process you do if you don’t plan on anal-play.  

So, there I was about to shower, and there he was, not answering his text message. I had just gotten off the phone with him, and I needed an answer. I didn’t want to do the process for no reason, but I didn’t want to shower, get out, then have to go back into the shower, after the fact. So, I did something I usually never do; I called him. (LOL) He answered and said to still come over. So, I showered, cleaned my ass, put in a Softdisc™ then had him call my Uber.   

When I got to his apartment, he gave me a glass of wine, he had a few beers; then things got started. We started kissing then I removed his pants to suck his dick. As things heated up, we took it all to the bedroom. He removed my clothes, and I continued sucking. He changed positions and laid me on my back and slipped a butt-plug into my ass. He licked at my neck, sucked my breast, kissed down my navel, then began to lick my clit. I rubbed his head as he found his rhythm. He swirled his tongue in delicate tornadoes around my clit and savored my juices that his tongue produced. He brought me to a screaming orgasm, and my thighs gripped his head in response. When he kissed me, I could taste my sweetness on his lips.   

He got a condom, spread my legs, and slowly entered me. He felt great, but when he pulled my legs apart and rammed into me, I began to lose my mind. He flipped me over and fucked me doggy-style. With my decorated ass in the air, he hammered into my pussy, and I cried out with every thrust. When he began to slow down, he started pulling out and reinserting the butt-plug; with each motion, the sensation increased. When he pulled it all the way out and placed it on the bed, I knew exactly what he was about to do. He licked and poked his tongue into my, now opened, booty-hole. As he grabbed the lube, I grabbed my Liberty Womanizer®.   

He slid his dick into my ass as the sensations from the womanizer teased my clit. Once my ass was ready, I gave him the green light to fuck my ass as hard as he wished. The combined sensation drove me up the walls as I screamed in pleasure. I told him how good his dick felt in my ass, and how I wanted him to fuck me harder, and after a while, he came. I still had the Womanizer on my clit, and I told him to stay in my ass because he felt so good. Then, with a few thrusts from him, I came hard.   

We passed out on the bed for about an hour. When we woke up, I cleaned up, got dressed, and he called my Uber back home. When I got home, I removed my disc in the shower and swapped it with my Diva Cup® and went about the rest of my day.   

Over the year, it has become a routine of mine that, when I know I’m going to have sex, I always go the extra mile to clean my ass. Although it can be an annoying hassle, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

TWO MEN WALK INTO A BAR

I made the decision to live my true polyamorous life in January 2019; in February, I met M. He was my first poly partner, the first to eat my ass, and the first man I used a butt-plug with. Almost weekly, we had phenomenal sex, he ate my pussy just right, and he was a freak like me. In May, I met A, my primary partner. Over time, it occurred to me that they had a lot in common. So, in December, I set up a group chat (Two Men Walk into A Bar), and a week later, we all met up.   

I arranged for us to meet at a Mexican restaurant, by my job, and on the walk there, I was extremely nervous. I was confident that they would get along, but I was worried that the male ego might get in the way. However, once we were seated, everything went off without a hitch. Over dinner and a few margaritas, they got to know each other and talked on how much they both enjoyed fucking me. It was, to say the least, a great introduction date.  

After our date, the conversations in our group chat became highly sexual as we tried to plan out the details for our threesome. A few times, they attempted to rush the plan, like the horny men that they are; but I wanted to make sure the event was not rushed. As weeks and months passed, I wondered if our long-awaited threesome would ever happen. Then, a week before New York City went on lockdown, the stars finally aligned.  

We arranged to meet at M’s on a Sunday afternoon. I met A when I got off the train, and we walked together to his apartment. Once there, we sat down and talked over some wine. I could tell that M was nervous, as it was to be his first threesome, but I assured him that he would enjoy himself. After a while, we all went into the bedroom to get things started. We got undressed, and with me sandwiched between them, I started kissing my dates for the evening. M began to lick my nipples, A started to eat my pussy, and I sucked M’s dick. I released a loud scream as I was delivered my first orgasm of the day; afterward, he slipped on a condom to fuck me until he reached his orgasm. As he went to clean up, M changed positions and went down on me, and in no time, he delivered me my second orgasm. Still riding my orgasm, M bent me over and fucked me from behind as I sucked A’s dick. Since attending my first sex club, I had been in quite a few MFM threesomes before. But fucking strangers versus men that I actually had cared for, was a totally different experience; it was totally euphoric.   

An essential role in being the woman in an MFM threesome is to make sure all people involved are paced and having a good time. After round one, A was ready to keep going, while M suggested a moment of rest. Men, enjoying an MFM threesome, often forget that a woman’s body, not only, needs to reset, but is also her possession. My body has to be enjoying every second of the encounter. So, because my arms, clit, and vagina had just put in serious work, despite A’s resistance, I made the decision to rest. We weren’t on a clock; therefore, there was no need to rush. We took a nap, and when we were all ready, we started up again.   

At the start of round two, I wanted it doggy-style, with M lying on the bed and A behind me. He lubed up and proceeded to fuck me in the ass, and with my Womanizer on my clit, like clockwork, I collapsed onto M’s lap as I rode my trembling orgasm. My ass needed a break, so I let my mouth do the work for me. With deep passion, I sucked, licked, and swirled my mouth and tongue back and forth around their dicks, and when I was ready, M positioned himself behind me.  

With my ass in the air and my face buried in A’s lap, M licked and bit at my ass. He slipped one finger in and then another, and knowing what was coming next, I grabbed my Womanizer. As he slid into my booty-hole, my body instantly began to tremble. Each thrust felt like heaven, and, once again, with my Womanizer on my clit, my orgasm began to build. As he picked up his pace, my body started to lose control. When my orgasm finally peaked, each outcry of orgasm was accompanied by a burst of squirt. I had no control over what was coming out of my body, but I kept the Womanizer placed over my clit. And with every breath, I exploded again and again. I could tell he was taken aback and aroused at the same time as he was showered in my juices. Fearing that my screams could be heard up and down the Grand Concourse, I buried my face into the bed and rode out the rest of my orgasm through muffled screams. When my tank was finally empty, I fell onto the bed; and after four orgasms, I was officially done.   

After we showered, we got dressed and took a walk. Walking down the street with my guys, I felt empowered, sexy, and magical. As stated before, MFM threesomes are always amazing; but partaking in one with partners you care for, that care for you in return, was the cherry on my Sunday. 

TABOOTY PART 1

Now that I’m finally having some of the best and most exciting sex in my life; I’m exploring more and more new avenues of pleasure. If it wasn’t already clear, I’ve returned back to online dating. This time around though, I’m in the process of getting to know some amazing people. 

My current partner; we connected via Tinder. Our first date we talked a lot about the complexities of dating, some of the hits and misses we’ve had, and herpes (since this was on my Tinder profile). The conversation was easy and playful; to be honest it was quite refreshing to talk about herpes so casually with someone, especially considering it was a first date. Before our second date we were already exchanging sexy pics and naughty texts. He didn’t deliver the predictable sex messages and he didn’t say all the things he would do. He gave me compliments, which was quite nice. For our second date we wanted a place that was more intimate, yet still casual. We each tried to scour the internet to find a bar/lounge that would fit the bill, but nothing caught our eyes. We ended up going to a Mexican restaurant in Hell’s Kitchen and having dinner. After dinner, we wanted a little more privacy, so he bought a bottle of wine, and we headed to his place.  

His apartment was very nice for a bachelor but the 4-floor walk-up let me annoyed, as I despise stairs. I quickly went to the bathroom to freshen up, as it was almost certain that the night would end with sex. When I came back, we had some wine and he put on, of course- Netflix. Not long after Sex Education started, we started kissing and clothes were taken off. He was passionate and deliberate in his movements and my body reacted accordingly. His lips were soft and moist as they trailed my neck and collar-bone down to my breasts. He delivered equal attention to each nipple, until they were both wet and hard. He kissed down my navel and my body flickered as his tongue greeted my vagina. His tongue did wonders on my opening as I moaned loudly and writhed with pleasure. Then, his tongue went further; immediately a million thoughts ran through my mind… What’s he doing? What did I eat earlier? Did I use baby wipes? Please don’t fart. While he was devouring and fingering my ass hole I was worried like hell. I know an ass hole is an exit, so he can’t expect it to be 100% clean, Right? In the past I’ve had fingers in my ass while my partner fucked me from behind, I’ve even had partners bite my ass a few times. However, I’ve never had a person stick their tongue in it- What the fuck is this? But I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop him, because as weird as it was to experience- it felt SO DAMD GOOD! 

After he had his fill; he came up, wiped his face and kissed me deeply. I was surprised to discover it didn’t smell or taste like shit. Would you look at that? I had no intentions on returning that favor, but I was definitely eager to wrap my mouth around his dick and with much delight, I sucked, licked, and stroked, until my heart was content. When he pulled me off of him because he could wait no longer to be inside me; he got a condom, bent me over, and proceeded to fuck the shit out of me! The phrase “motion in the ocean” was made for partners like him. Each thrust felt like ecstasy, each slap made me more wet, and when he slipped his finger into my ass, I was completely and utterly done. I had cum harder with him, than I had cum in a very-very long time. We crashed on the couch, naked, sweaty, and breathing very heavy. We drank more wine, and went two more rounds, before we retired to the bedroom to finally sleep.  

That weekend, I went to The Pleasure Chest. It was obvious to me that he liked playing with my ass. As I was certain I would definitely be seeing him again, I wanted to be prepared for next time, if I could. I bought a butt-cleaning kit and as a bonus it came with a butt-plug- This might be fun!  

The next time I saw him it was right after my workout. Unfortunately, his evening ended earlier than expected; I was planning to go home first and do a proper cleaning, but he called my Uber right after class. When I arrived at his place, I sat down to unwind a bit and he gave my shoulders a tender rub. I don’t know if it was his hands or just my overall horniness; but I turned around, pulled his dick out from his pants and proceeded to suck him off. I took a moment to remove my shirt and bra because I knew exactly where I wanted him to release at. I returned back and continued to lick and suck until he was ready to explode. With that he kissed me deeply and we got undressed and went in the shower. 

Once we were both all clean, he put on, once again, Netflix. This time we actually watched an episode of Good Girls, while eating dinner. He made it clear that his refractory period was over and that he was ready to go again, and so was I. I started by kissing all down his body and sucking to get him ready. I was bent over on all fours with his dick deep in my mouth. He sat up to play with my ass, as I knew he would. He pulled me in to sit on his face; as I grinned down his fingers slipped into my ass; as if by clock-work I started to lose control. A few convulsions, then he turned me around, so we could 69. I tasted his pre-cum it was subtly sweet and I proceeded to work my magic. Pew!– A splash of saliva misted my ass and back as his fingers continued to fondle my tight hole. Flickers of his tongue, a loud moan from me, a suck and slurp sound. Pew!- Another mist; this one less shocking and more arousing. The mixture of his saliva cooled from the air touching my warm sweaty back was an entirely new sensation. What the entire fuck was I missing all my life?  

My clit couldn’t take anymore; I needed him inside of me. Condom on, he bent me over and slid in deep as my body began to quiver from the pleasure. He starts to explore my ass again- one finger, then two. I’m moaning louder as he pushes into both my holes. I turn around and whisper. “I’ve got a butt-plug, you want to try it?”  

PART 2 NEXT WEEK 

Attack of the Gherkins: Part 3A (Just Give it a Try)

I didn’t want to believe that I could be so shallow. I didn’t want to believe that if the right man came along, and the only negative was his penis size, that I would kick him to the curb. I wasn’t that bad- was I?

I started talking to G_OKC in April 2017. He arranged for our first date to be at a wine & cheese bar on the west side, just beyond Times Square. I left from work and hopped on the train to meet him. When I got off the train, for some weird reason, my logistics were totally screwed up and I had no clue where I was. I started walking, using my Google maps app but after 5 minutes I realized I was going in the wrong direction. I was in heels, a tight pencil skirt (looking very sexy, I must admit) and then it started to rain, I did not want to walk anymore. I tried hailing a cab, with no luck after 5 minutes. I eventually called an Uber. It arrived 10 minutes later and I was on my way to meet him.

When I arrived the restaurant was quite crowded. He saw me before I saw him, he walked to embrace me with a hug and he asked the hostess for a table. He was very handsome; great stature, bold glasses, distinct looks and an accent that was a combination of Indian and British. As dining at a wine and cheese bar was new to me, I let him choose the wine and food. He was a computer engineer and did private catering as a hobby, so I knew I could trust his taste. I thought to myself, finally!- a man with a career and evolved culinary knowledge. (This was very important to me. I love food! Many people eat to live, while I live to eat- #HaveFoodWillTravel is my motto. He was such a breath of fresh air, especially since my last ex was a fast food, 25cent snack at the corner store food junkie. The date went well, compared to what I was used to. The only issue that day was his smoking. I hate dating smokers, but I said to myself- if everything else is good, could I live with it? The answer was yes, so I didn’t hold it against him.

On the next date he invited me over for dinner. In the comfort of his own home the uniqueness of his character was much more obvious. He had on some ethnic print harem pants; his flip-flops showed his awkward hobbit-shaped feet, with his big toes painted a bright green. In my mind, I had casted much judgments, but I remembered he was at home and as long as he didn’t walk outside with me looking like that it wasn’t so bad.

He made, quite possibly, the most delicious pork dish I ever had, with flavorful brown gravy with bright citrus notes and jasmine rice, simply delicious. His table manners, on the other hand, were totally despicable. I used my fork and knife, he was a caveman, and he used his fingers. I finished my food and gravy with a spoon, and he picked up the bowl and drank the sauce. When he was done, he placed his foot on the kitchen table and rubbed his slightly plumped belly- no table manners what so ever. I should have called it a night then but I was optimistic. (You see, this was during the first season of American Gods. If you haven’t already seen it, you must watch it. There is a scene where an Indian man, who’s actually a genie, has sex with an unsuspecting human male passenger. In the scene he drops his pants and this mammoth penis is on screen #wow. Now, I’ve heard all the rumors about Asian and Indian men having small penises but I didn’t want to believe the stereotype and I had hope that maybe I was finally finding the total package, so I decided to stay and see for myself.)

In his room, I was laying on his bed (fitted orange dress and strappy cork heels), while he smoked his cigarette and blew the smoke out of the window. We spoke with ease, but I could tell he had something on his mind. So, I asked him what he was thinking. It was the first time a man had ever asked for permission to kiss me. I told him, yes but only after he brushed his teeth. With that, he jumped up, went to the bathroom to freshen up and came back new and improved. We commenced to kiss. His lips, upon viewing them, seemed small, but once we started kissing had the characteristics of an iceberg status (small on the surface, yet large and powerful underneath) those lips made me weak in the knees. In that moment I wanted his lips everywhere. He continued to ask my permission with every advance he made: hands around my waist, down on my ass, laying me down on the bed, hiking up my dress, kissing behind my knees, in between my thighs, kissing over my thong, then removing them to kiss what lay beneath. At every advance my body wanted more and more. The power his mouth possessed on me that evening was explosive beyond measure. He brought my body to screaming pleasure three times with just his tongue and fingers. I thought to myself Thank God.

As I lay there spent on his bed he went back to smoking another cigarette and drinking his wine. We started talking about sexual gratifications and we got on the topic of penis size. He asked what my ideal was, and I was honest and said 6” being my minimum and around 8” being my maximum (I don’t want to have an involuntary hysterectomy because my man has donkey dick- some things are too big for me). When I told him my answer he was very honest about his size. There is nothing I hate more than a man that tells lies on his dick but his being honest was a chance for me to really see if size really does matter. Could I let a “little” thing be a big issue? I was willing to see.

When he finished his cigarette he brushed his teeth then came to bed. He started me back up again with his lovely mouth and fingers. He got a condom and I was able to see exactly what he had. There was so much disappointment in my rapidly beating heart at that moment. His penis may have been the size of my middle finger at full erectness. I was in utter disbelief. We started in missionary- I felt absolutely nothing. I then forced him to switch to doggy style, I felt something but it was still closer to nothing. Because he made me reach orgasm five times already I figured I could give him one… or so I thought.

Now, normally when my partner reaches orgasm I hear a few groans, they grab tighter, cum, and come down off their sexual high. That night, I had experienced brand new territory.

It started with his moaning, then his pushes became more rapid, then his body began to shake. He slammed the wall with his fist and continued to convulse. I’m bent over, facing the wall; wondering- is he having a seizure? What the fuck is going on back there? He must have read my body reacting because he then explained that he has multiple orgasms. He must have been climaxing for what seemed like 10 minutes, after he had already cum. Well that’s different, I thought to myself.

When he was finally done he pulled me close, we kissed and he wrapped his legs and arms around me. Lying next to him, ignoring all the questions and concerns looming in my brain, it felt good. His skills were great, minus his obvious shortcomings, but I hoped for a man like him for so long: good career, cultured, well traveled, foodie, can hold a conversation, accepts my weird-uniqueness, genuinely into me, and a gentleman. I could try and look beyond the “small” “insignificant” physical issue right? I tried it for a few months and it would all come to an end in part 3B.

(Attack of the Gherkins finale in Part 3B, Next Week)