CAN I TRADE IN MY BOX?

As I approached the end of 2020, my vagina was on the fritz. After attending a swinger party in October, having my guts made into soup, and my body contorted beyond its limit, I needed a break. I was ragged, and my old faithful friend BV had come back for a visit. I took my meds and gave my body time to heal. For Thanksgiving, I had sex with my guy and, once again, my pussy was hell on the equator. It didn’t smell, and there wasn’t any visible discharge; it just felt off, and I knew something was up.

I was tired of going back and forth to the GYN and getting the same results. I’d get BV, treat the BV, then the treatment for BV would cause a yeast infection. A big reason I became an advocate for condoms was to try and control my pH balance, but condoms made no difference over the years. My pussy just wanted to be a headache. For years (even when I wasn’t having sex), she gave me problems. But, as of lately, it seemed to be happening more frequently. Needing to find the culprit, I began experimenting with different condoms, different lubes, and various soaps; nothing made a difference.

After my October visit, I decided to adjust how I cleaned down there. I always had a habit of overcleaning (according to my GYN). I never thought a final pass-over with baby wipes would be a bad thing. But clearly, I was washing away all of my “good bacteria,” and the same went for my aggressive showers. So, I stopped with the baby wipes, and I used less intensity when I cleaned my lady parts in the shower. Wouldn’t you know, when I went back to the GYN in November, my less aggressive cleaning had also backfired on me. I was really beginning to hate my body. 

Not only was there the headache of the discomfort. It had to pay the $50 co-pay to see the GYN and the $30 for prescriptions. Now, multiply that a few times a year. Fixing a broken pussy adds up. I really wanted to trade her in for a new one. But sadly, that’s not how vaginas work. 

Tired of dealing with the headaches, I decided to Force Quit my Pussy, lock her down, and do a total Restart. I made the executive decision to have no sex until all results came back clear. Like most women, I had the habit of going back to having sex once I finished my medication and the symptoms subsided. This time around, I wanted to finish my meds, then go back to make sure EVERYTHING was in the clear before I had sex. I needed to start from square one, and I couldn’t do that if I were fucking all the time. 

Sadly, the same week I decided to lock my pussy down was the same week all my partners called me to link up. I turned down enough partners that I copy and pasted the speech to make it easier on myself. —YES! It’s that good!— I did get push-back from some of my partners, but it was my box and sanity on the line. I had to ignore their desires and focus on my health. My body. My choice.

In January, it had been almost two months since I had sex, but something still felt off. Imagine someone breathing into your pussy; that’s what I was feeling. I went to the GYN and pressed play on the tape recorder that was my vaginal-health-life. The doctor did my exam, and a week later, my results came back negative for everything. SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH MY PUSSY. He concluded that maybe this was my new normal. But, thankfully, a few days later, the pussy-blower disappeared. 

If I’m honest, there is a part of me that dreads what will happen when I return to having sex. And I’m not looking forward to the trials and errors of pleasure. Condoms, no condoms, regular lube, organic lube, coconut oil, it’s all a gamble; and at the end of the day, it’s my body and wallet that has to go through the motions. I just don’t know if I want to go back down that rabbit-hole.

But who am I kidding? I know I enjoy sex too much to stay away from it for too long. However, this time around, it’s essential to listen to my body and pay attention to the signals. If your body keeps responding in a way that waves red flags, it’s necessary to listen and make changes, regardless of how your partners may feel. No one has to live with your discomfort but you, and no one is paying your doctor bills or prescriptions but you. So, put yourself and your health first.­­

The Wonders of Coconut Oil Part 2

Be sure to read “The Wonders of Coconut Oil Part 1” before reading Part 2

So- there I was, vagina slathered in coconut oil, in preparation for my upcoming sex appointment. Like I said in the last post; I should’ve cancelled it, but my hormones got the best of me. I put on my lingerie, dress, heels and left to get in the Uber that he called for me. He lived in a fucking walk-up, and since I hate stairs, I was not too thrilled and sweaty upon arrival. 

When I finally arrived at the pearly gates of his apartment door, he greeted me with hug and passionate kiss. Shoes came off and we went to sit on the couch. His apartment was nice, for a bachelor, and it had all the essential furniture. The only downside was that his mattress was on the floor. What is it with grown men refusing to invest in a bed frame? But, the rest of the apartment was nice and clean so I couldn’t get hung up on this minor detail. 

We talked for a bit while he made me a drink and listened to some music and discussed various kinks, and Dos & Donts. We kissed and then the chemistry of the alcohol took over. I went in between his legs and pulled out his penis and began to enjoy him. He filled my mouth, just right and I became more wet with each lick. Before things got too heated, we went to the bedroom. His fingers began to explore my vagina; and the spells he casted were nothing short of magical. My body had fully surrendered to the power of his digits; all of a sudden, I felt an oozing of fluid and I was spent. I had only ever squirted on 2 occasions prior to that; once, when I was masturbating for hours at home, the other, was with one of my college-age partners, with zero intention. After he made me squirt (notice I said- not cum); we had sex. Rough and animalistic, the way I sometimes love. Ass slapping, light choking, and anal play had me moaning and juicing on all cylinders. I collapsed down on the bed from penetrative exhaustion. After a moment we went back to sit on the couch. He smoked a blunt, then made us some vegan grilled cheese sandwiches; he oiled the pan with Organic Coconut Oil (LOL!) He made us each another drink and we ate our sandwiches. I must say for vegan cheese, from the perspective of a meat-eater, the sandwich was quite yummy. 

After our nourishment it was time for round two. He removed my dress and began sucking at my nipples as his fingers made their way back to my vagina. He put his hands around my neck and aided in me standing up- my juices began to trickle down my leg as he escorted me back to the bedroom. This time I wanted to be on my knees as he stood in front of me, and I took him in. I sucked, licked, twirled, and flicked my tongue with a mission. POW! He delivered a gentle slap to my face and I, to my own surprise, grew more aroused. I took him even deeper into my mouth, delivering aggressive head jerks for the tip of his penis to hit the back of my throat. He ejaculated on my breasts, hot and sticky. After he cleaned me up, he got in position to deliver me more pleasure. He made me squirt 2 more times then, on the third time I rubbed at my clitoris as his fingers explored both my vagina and ass-hole. I let out a roar that would put the lions to shame, because he covered my mouth until my limbs went limp. He grabbed a condom then laid me on my stomach and began to repossess my body until he came. I dozed off for about 10 minutes and woke up to him sitting on couch. We sat and talked for a little bit, until it was time for me to go. I took a quick shower and I was on my way. 

The realization of the fucking I had just put my body through didn’t set in until I went to use the bathroom at the movie theater. I went to wipe and I wanted to punch myself in the throat! My vagina was utterly fucked raw. When I got home, I went into the bathroom looking for possible battle wounds that could explain my discomfort; other than the more intense red color everything looked normal. After my shower, I slathered coconut oil all over my vagina.  

When Tuesday came, my vagina and my throat felt a little off. So, in conjunction with going to the walk-in GYN after work, I called all my partners I had played with that weekend for sexual re-con. Who else at the party did you fuck, when was the last time you got tested, and when was the last time you were sick? Eventually, with daily applications of coconut oil, that soothed and moisturized my pubic and labia, the discomfort subsided. A week later, my results came back and everything was negative.  

It had never crossed my mind that maybe my body was just not used to all the fucking I had just put it through. If I was going to continue living this polyamorous, non-monogamous, occasional swinger lifestyle I would have to adopt new methods for vaginal care. Vitamin D (the kind that comes in a bottle), probiotics, coconut oil, and lots and lots of lune. Sure- I’ve gone many rounds of sex before, but never the way it happened that weekend. There was really only a sliver of time at the party where my vagina wasn’t being either, penetrated, rubbed, or licked. And, although it felt amazing- it was very-new indeed.  

I learned then that lube, would forever be my best friend; and, that Coconut Oil, really, does do wonders.  

The Wonders of Coconut Oil (Part 1)

Coconut oil has been around for generations; however, within the past decade it has become the “IT” oil for everything. From cooking, to a skin moisturizing, to hair deep conditioning, coconut oil is the thing to have. We started buying coconut oil in the big jar at Costco; we haven’t gotten around to using it for cooking yet, but hair and skin are a definite must in my house. I was walking with my mom and her friend (both nurses), and my mother’s friend mentioned coconut oil suppositories for vaginal yeast. I’ve been a Monistat user for as long as I can remember, but knowing coconut oil is organic, non-chemicals, and a natural anti-bacterial; I figured the information would be good to know for the future. Little did I know the future would be right around the corner.  

The following weekend I went to a sex party. I started following a group on Instagram that threw parties. Before I decided to attend, I made sure there wasn’t a rule that people in my situation weren’t allowed. Once the hostess confirmed that, as long as I told my partners and gave them the choice, it was ok for me to attend, I made preparations. Armed with super high-heels, a black dress, and a snatched waist – I was ready to party. I went downstairs to meet the driver and in less than 30 minutes we were at the hotel. The party was in a suite and everyone was dressed super-casual. Thank heavens I had changed out of my heels and put on my flip flops or I might’ve felt a bit over-dressed. I instantly connected with a guy there. We sat down and talked about the lifestyle, I told him about my diagnosis and, as his mother was in my same situation, he was well aware of what it meant. I saw a man I had spoken to earlier on Instagram enter and we exchanged shy helloes. About an hour later the suite began to fill up. At 11:45 we all went around and introduced ourselves, went over our dos and don’ts, and explained how long we had been in the lifestyle; then it was dress-down hour. Luckily, I packed a robe; because, if I hadn’t, it would’ve been tits, corset, and thong on full display. I may enjoy public sex, but I’m not that much of an exhibitionist yet.  

The man I had spoken to earlier in the night asked me over to the corner with him; then it was ON! We made out, deep sensual lust driven kisses, then he went down on me, I briefly exchanged the favor, then we he bent me over slipped on a condom then we had sex. We had at it for about 10 sex minutes. Then the gentleman I connected with on IG came around and asked to play. He had expressed earlier in the evening that I was the only reason he came to the party; so, I definitely wanted to make his trip worth the while. We briefly kissed, then it was condom on and he was deep inside, hammering away at me. I had to hold back my moans because I didn’t want my other guy to get jealous. Damn!- He pulverized me, and I loved every second of it. After we were satisfied, I needed a break; my arms were sore and I wanted to give my vagina some R&R. 

When I resurfaced, another party-goer, who observed me in action, asked if I would sit on his face. I told him; I was taking a break, but I would get back to him. I took a moment, had a drink, went to the bathroom to re-freshen up then I went to another room to simply be a voyeur. There were two couples going at it and a woman was getting pleasure from another female. Guy A came up behind me as I was watching and started kissing my neck and rubbing my breasts; guy B came in front of me and started rubbing my clit and it wasn’t long before they escorted me back to the corner of the other room. 

Back at it again, being pleased while giving pleasure, I was in a fantasy that I had always wanted to live out. I could feel my body needing some lube, but my bag was all the way across the room, so I just kept going. I played with both until I came then I decided to relax again. There was a scuffle amongst the gentle-man partygoers that was broken up, but then it got out of control, with guy A on top of me. We stopped all action and the party was over.  A man that can find a reason to fight around all that pussy- had some serious issues.

I changed back into my normal-girl attire and exchanged numbers with Guy A. He had to stay upstairs, as he was a partial host/security and Guy B took me to the elevator and waited with me for my uber to arrive. While waiting, the man that requested I sit on his face was downstairs waiting for his car too. He and I exchanged numbers, as well as Guy B and I. My uber arrived, I said good-bye to Guy B and I was on my way home.  

I texted them all separately to notify them that I got home safe and they all replied a Good Night. In the shower, my vagina was sore. Even though I’d been having sex, my M_Tinder partner had been much more, gentle than both the men were that night. I needed a fast-acting option to soothe my lady parts and I remembered- coconut oil. I grabbed the jar out from my parent’s room and put a good amount down-south; immediately, I felt like a brand-new woman. I was so happy too, because; even though I should’ve rain-checked, in a few hours I was to have a play-date with a man I connected with on Feeld (J_Feeld). So I was off to sleep and allowed the wonder of coconut oil to work their magic.

Part 2 (Next Week)