There comes a time when one realizes that they are officially getting old.
I realized that not only was I getting old, but my southern parts had officially crossed over to the gray side.
I started waxing almost a decade ago. Not only was it less of a headache to keep clean razors around, but it also helped me have fewer outbreaks brought on by the microtears using a razor would cause. Over the years, I’d had an array of wax technicians, my favorite being Stephanie. I followed her from EWC to a salon in Washington Heights. I even made the trek to her home in the Bronx during the pandemic. Ultimately the commute was too much for me, so I had to part ways.
The thing I loved about Stephanie was that we got really close. I mean, you kind of have to be when your labia and booty-hole are spread open, and hair is being ripped from your body. She knew damn near everything about me, and I learned a lot about her. One of the reasons I stayed with her for so long was that she, hands down, has given me the best Brazilians.
Here’s the thing; full Brazilian waxes can cost anywhere from $50-$75 depending on the location, tax, and tip. After shelling out that much money and enduring much discomfort, the last thing you want to do is go home and find tiny stray hairs. There’s a reason why people go to the same wax person once they find a good fit instead of bouncing around. When I first worked with her, I had to let her know to pull back the folds of my labia to get those pesky hairs, and after a time or two, I never had to mention it again. It was a match made in heaven.
When I could no longer make the journey, I returned to my local stomping grounds. I enjoyed walking through Central Park to get my wax, then getting a burger and cocktail next door at Bareburger. But when I returned to working in the office, it was no longer convenient for me. I changed my location from the UWS to a Times Square location closer to my job and easy to go during my lunch break.
I had an appointment scheduled the week after I got sick with Covid. Naturally, I had to let my hair continue to grow since I had to quarantine. Two weeks passed, and I was finally able to go and get my wax.
I arrived downtown, checked in, and waited 15 minutes for my appointment; the lady didn’t come out. I asked the desk associate how much longer she would be, to which she responded, “she’s finishing up.” Another 15 minutes passed, and I grew livid. I asked the desk lady again if she could knock on the door and notify her that she had a client that’s been waiting for 30 minutes. It was only after I made a fuss that the desk clerk let me know I could be seen by another wax technician –Like really Bitch!–
The lady that performed my wax was sweet. I wanted to make sure she did a thorough job, so I gave her full permission to get up close and personal with my pussy. Peel back the skin and rip the hair out. I thought she took care of it (as many times as she passed over certain spots). But when I got home and finally used the bathroom, I was annoyed, to say the least.
It started with a finger graze by the opening of my vagina; I could feel stray hairs just chilling. Annoyed, I began pulling the ones I could out with my index and thumb fingers. A few longer than usual curly hairs had serious staying power, and then I pulled out one single solitary gray strand.
FUCK! My pussy is getting old!!
Now, I know it’s superficial as I get no complaints about my biological sex. My partners love to eat, finger, feel, and anything else you could imagine my pussy. But a fucking gray hair. How am I supposed to get over that? I could blame the fact that, of course, I’m getting older, and it’s only natural. But I blame the wax lady.
My pussy would be as bald as a newborn if she did her job correctly. So, instead of just enjoying the beauty of my wax, I have to pull out a new razor and make sure all the stray hairs that survived the battle lose the war.
Usually, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. But I gave the woman an 20% tip. I shouldn’t have to fix what I already paid for, but I’ll do what I need to and tip her less next time. And before she commences to consider the wax done, I’ll be sure to do my own visual and physical inspection. Because that’s the last time a gray bitch will take real estate on my pussy.