TO CLEAN, OR NOT TO CLEAN (The Booty-Hole)

This is not a post on the cleanliness of my ass; I shower 2-3 times a day, so my ass is very-very clean. This is a post about going through an extra step to make sure my ass is exponentially spotless for whatever activities may lay ahead.  

A few weeks ago, I had a dick appointment with one of my partners. I was looking forward to having my pussy eaten and fucked in all my holes. But, as luck would have it, I was worried about my approaching period. It was slated to come that week, and although I knew he was ok with fucking me during my period, I didn’t want certain activities to be off-limits. When he had to push it a week back, I thought to myself, great. My period would arrive in a day or two and be gone, or in the very least, extremely light, by the time we planned to meet up.   

A week passed, and no period came. I was hoping it would be a scenario where my period would disappear for a month (or two or three), as it had in the past. But the day I was finally going to get some long-awaited dick, I used the bathroom before getting into the shower, and BOOM! There was my period. I was immediately annoyed. I messaged him to let him know that I just started my period, and to confirm if he still wanted me to come over; he didn’t respond.   

The day after he and I first had sex, when he stuck his tongue and thumb in my ass, I went to the Pleasure Chest, in Manhattan, and purchased an anal douche the following day. Sure, my booty was clean, but I know I wasn’t sticking my finger all the way up to make sure the canal was clear. The last thing I wanted to see was poop on the condom, or him to see poop on his finger. So, despite the fact he called my booty ‘spotless,’ I didn’t want to take any chances. 

If you’ve never used an anal douche, trust me when I say, it’s a fucking process. It’s also easiest to do in the shower. You fill up the bottle with room temperature water, guide the nozzle up you booty-hole, then squeeze the water into your ass. You then get out of the tub, walk to the toilet, and push out the water. You do this a few more times until all the water comes out clear, confirming that your ass and the tunnel are thoroughly clean. It’s a hassle, it’s sometimes uncomfortable, and it’s not a process you do if you don’t plan on anal-play.  

So, there I was about to shower, and there he was, not answering his text message. I had just gotten off the phone with him, and I needed an answer. I didn’t want to do the process for no reason, but I didn’t want to shower, get out, then have to go back into the shower, after the fact. So, I did something I usually never do; I called him. (LOL) He answered and said to still come over. So, I showered, cleaned my ass, put in a Softdisc™ then had him call my Uber.   

When I got to his apartment, he gave me a glass of wine, he had a few beers; then things got started. We started kissing then I removed his pants to suck his dick. As things heated up, we took it all to the bedroom. He removed my clothes, and I continued sucking. He changed positions and laid me on my back and slipped a butt-plug into my ass. He licked at my neck, sucked my breast, kissed down my navel, then began to lick my clit. I rubbed his head as he found his rhythm. He swirled his tongue in delicate tornadoes around my clit and savored my juices that his tongue produced. He brought me to a screaming orgasm, and my thighs gripped his head in response. When he kissed me, I could taste my sweetness on his lips.   

He got a condom, spread my legs, and slowly entered me. He felt great, but when he pulled my legs apart and rammed into me, I began to lose my mind. He flipped me over and fucked me doggy-style. With my decorated ass in the air, he hammered into my pussy, and I cried out with every thrust. When he began to slow down, he started pulling out and reinserting the butt-plug; with each motion, the sensation increased. When he pulled it all the way out and placed it on the bed, I knew exactly what he was about to do. He licked and poked his tongue into my, now opened, booty-hole. As he grabbed the lube, I grabbed my Liberty Womanizer®.   

He slid his dick into my ass as the sensations from the womanizer teased my clit. Once my ass was ready, I gave him the green light to fuck my ass as hard as he wished. The combined sensation drove me up the walls as I screamed in pleasure. I told him how good his dick felt in my ass, and how I wanted him to fuck me harder, and after a while, he came. I still had the Womanizer on my clit, and I told him to stay in my ass because he felt so good. Then, with a few thrusts from him, I came hard.   

We passed out on the bed for about an hour. When we woke up, I cleaned up, got dressed, and he called my Uber back home. When I got home, I removed my disc in the shower and swapped it with my Diva Cup® and went about the rest of my day.   

Over the year, it has become a routine of mine that, when I know I’m going to have sex, I always go the extra mile to clean my ass. Although it can be an annoying hassle, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

The Wonders of Coconut Oil Part 2

Be sure to read “The Wonders of Coconut Oil Part 1” before reading Part 2

So- there I was, vagina slathered in coconut oil, in preparation for my upcoming sex appointment. Like I said in the last post; I should’ve cancelled it, but my hormones got the best of me. I put on my lingerie, dress, heels and left to get in the Uber that he called for me. He lived in a fucking walk-up, and since I hate stairs, I was not too thrilled and sweaty upon arrival. 

When I finally arrived at the pearly gates of his apartment door, he greeted me with hug and passionate kiss. Shoes came off and we went to sit on the couch. His apartment was nice, for a bachelor, and it had all the essential furniture. The only downside was that his mattress was on the floor. What is it with grown men refusing to invest in a bed frame? But, the rest of the apartment was nice and clean so I couldn’t get hung up on this minor detail. 

We talked for a bit while he made me a drink and listened to some music and discussed various kinks, and Dos & Donts. We kissed and then the chemistry of the alcohol took over. I went in between his legs and pulled out his penis and began to enjoy him. He filled my mouth, just right and I became more wet with each lick. Before things got too heated, we went to the bedroom. His fingers began to explore my vagina; and the spells he casted were nothing short of magical. My body had fully surrendered to the power of his digits; all of a sudden, I felt an oozing of fluid and I was spent. I had only ever squirted on 2 occasions prior to that; once, when I was masturbating for hours at home, the other, was with one of my college-age partners, with zero intention. After he made me squirt (notice I said- not cum); we had sex. Rough and animalistic, the way I sometimes love. Ass slapping, light choking, and anal play had me moaning and juicing on all cylinders. I collapsed down on the bed from penetrative exhaustion. After a moment we went back to sit on the couch. He smoked a blunt, then made us some vegan grilled cheese sandwiches; he oiled the pan with Organic Coconut Oil (LOL!) He made us each another drink and we ate our sandwiches. I must say for vegan cheese, from the perspective of a meat-eater, the sandwich was quite yummy. 

After our nourishment it was time for round two. He removed my dress and began sucking at my nipples as his fingers made their way back to my vagina. He put his hands around my neck and aided in me standing up- my juices began to trickle down my leg as he escorted me back to the bedroom. This time I wanted to be on my knees as he stood in front of me, and I took him in. I sucked, licked, twirled, and flicked my tongue with a mission. POW! He delivered a gentle slap to my face and I, to my own surprise, grew more aroused. I took him even deeper into my mouth, delivering aggressive head jerks for the tip of his penis to hit the back of my throat. He ejaculated on my breasts, hot and sticky. After he cleaned me up, he got in position to deliver me more pleasure. He made me squirt 2 more times then, on the third time I rubbed at my clitoris as his fingers explored both my vagina and ass-hole. I let out a roar that would put the lions to shame, because he covered my mouth until my limbs went limp. He grabbed a condom then laid me on my stomach and began to repossess my body until he came. I dozed off for about 10 minutes and woke up to him sitting on couch. We sat and talked for a little bit, until it was time for me to go. I took a quick shower and I was on my way. 

The realization of the fucking I had just put my body through didn’t set in until I went to use the bathroom at the movie theater. I went to wipe and I wanted to punch myself in the throat! My vagina was utterly fucked raw. When I got home, I went into the bathroom looking for possible battle wounds that could explain my discomfort; other than the more intense red color everything looked normal. After my shower, I slathered coconut oil all over my vagina.  

When Tuesday came, my vagina and my throat felt a little off. So, in conjunction with going to the walk-in GYN after work, I called all my partners I had played with that weekend for sexual re-con. Who else at the party did you fuck, when was the last time you got tested, and when was the last time you were sick? Eventually, with daily applications of coconut oil, that soothed and moisturized my pubic and labia, the discomfort subsided. A week later, my results came back and everything was negative.  

It had never crossed my mind that maybe my body was just not used to all the fucking I had just put it through. If I was going to continue living this polyamorous, non-monogamous, occasional swinger lifestyle I would have to adopt new methods for vaginal care. Vitamin D (the kind that comes in a bottle), probiotics, coconut oil, and lots and lots of lune. Sure- I’ve gone many rounds of sex before, but never the way it happened that weekend. There was really only a sliver of time at the party where my vagina wasn’t being either, penetrated, rubbed, or licked. And, although it felt amazing- it was very-new indeed.  

I learned then that lube, would forever be my best friend; and, that Coconut Oil, really, does do wonders.