First, I want to apologize to all my readers for not being consistent. I know I ain’t shit, and I must do better. With so many new and positive things to talk about in 2022, I plan to give you non-stop me. Forewarning, the content going forward won’t be as juicy as it once was. Not only has pandemic dating proven to be an extremely unenjoyable pain in my ass; I just don’t care to invest time into the bullshit anymore. A bitch finally got smart and knows when her time is being wasted and she (meaning me) won’t do it anymore. But trust and believe I will find a way to keep you entertained no less.
Now, for 2021, a lot has happened so let me catch you up.
Obviously, we all ushered in the New Year during a pandemic. I was lucky enough to spend it with my family and partner for the second year in a row. I was looking forward to enjoying 2021 with blind optimism, but by March I was unfortunately laid-off. To be honest, I was more pissed that I was laid off in 2021 (you know when the government had stopped giving the extra $600 per unemployment check). If I had been laid off at the beginning of the pandemic, I would’ve racked up. But no; my company kept some of us employed and dropped our salaries by 50%. When I tried to file for partial unemployment, I couldn’t get it because I was – you guessed it – still employed.
Anyway, I wasn’t without a job for too long. In April the fashion Gods saw fit to shine down on me and bless me with a new company and all my autopay-bill prayers were answered. Have you ever started a job and knew on week one it wasn’t for you? Well, that was me every single week for the first 6 weeks.
I went in for the interview on Tuesday, was emailed on Saturday morning (while I was away visiting my family), and asked to turn around a project for Monday. Luckily, I had my laptop, so I threw together a project and had it done for Tuesday when I got back to the city. I went in for the interview, was hired on the spot, and was assigned my position in Hades. I could feel the job draining me of my happiness with every project we were asked to do. No longer was one lunch cocktail enough, somedays I needed two! Every week I thought about quitting. And for a solid month, my blood pressure was dangerously high.
Luckily, I had planned a trip to Jamaica with my friends that was a much-needed break from the shit storm. Jamaica was a fun time in the sun. I very briefly enjoyed a one-night-stand with a local that worked at the hotel (and when I say brief- I mean brief!) At least I checked that off the list. I tried an edible, and after feeling like I was in the sunken place, decided to keep my vices to alcohol and sex. I got amazingly drunk every day, masturbated nightly (and sometimes daily), got burned sitting by the pool, and transformed into a shedding snake by the time I got back to NYC and back to Hell.
Back from vacation, I pushed through the day-to-day, week to week. We worked from home on Fridays, so after our 10 am zoom, if there was no project to work on, I took full advantage and did absolutely nothing. This pattern sufficed for a while then, just as I was beginning to feel overwhelmed again, my friends were planning a trip to Covidtown, USA (Miami, FL). Needing to get out of hell and fly into dodge, I resurrected the dead.
You see, my biological father passed away in October 2020, when I was with my previous company. I never speak on the living in such a manner, but there’s nothing wrong with stating a fact. I told them my father passed away and that the funeral services were down south (all of which, technically did happen – just not when I said it did).
As luck would have it, I was approved for my apartment a week before I left for Miami. I got my keys on Friday, measured the space, went shopping for paint and ordered my furniture over the weekend, and prepped for my trip the rest of the week.
Miami was amazing and the company I was with made it that much more enjoyable. Drinks, kissing random women at murky-water pool parties, long summer strolls, dinner at the Versace Mansion, oysters on the beach, walking around half-naked, and masturbating daily; Miami was all that I hoped it would be.
When I finally got back, it was time for me to set up home. Every night, after work, I came home and painted my apartment. Every day while I was at work, my mom sat in my apartment to monitor all the repairs that needed to be done (Boy! There were a lot of repairs). But, teamwork makes the dream work, and with my building maintenance getting very familiar and annoyed with my face things finally came together. I put a significant dent in my credit score furnishing my apartment, but I can honestly say when I wake up in the morning and come home at night, I couldn’t be happier with what I see.
With everything finally set up, I hosted two separate housewarming parties. I finally made fried chicken wings and macaroni & cheese (Black Card intact!!!) And all the things I couldn’t buy, my guests came all the way through. Two weeks later, I was finally able to host my first ever Friendsgiving, with a handful of my friends passing out on my sofa. And after hosting three separate events, cooking, and cleaning, I’m good for a while (LOL!).
2021 was winding down to be a good year, then alone time took on a whole new meaning and necessity. When they say “don’t will certain things into existence” they fucking mean it.
I only lied about being sick on Wednesday so I could have off on Thursday to work on a project for an interview on Friday. I took a random covid test on Wednesday (just for shits-n-giggles), that came back negative, so I thought I was in the clear. When I woke up on Thursday feeling a bit off, I didn’t think much of it; but, by Thursday night and Friday morning it was obvious I was sick. I got an at-home test from one of my friends and it was positive for Covid (Just my luck!) Not wanting to fully F-up my holiday plans I decided to wait in the cold for yet another official PCR test and on Monday those results concluded that I did have Covid.
Thankfully there is a silver lining to the madness. Since I do now live alone, I’m no risk to my family or friends. Door Dash and Amazon have been a saving grace. And with today’s visual options, I have plenty to watch. I did want to indulge in a bit of alone time in my new place, and I guess this is how fate saw fit to finally sit me down. I still hope to bring in the new year with my family and friends. So, I’m wishing for a negative test in time.
Here’s to 2022… may I have a new job and bring it in Covid Free.
See you all in the new year.
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