I’m up before the alarm goes off, then hand touches me; it’s been like this for a few weeks now – I wake up just as the sun peeks in. From where I’m lying, I see a mess; clothes are everywhere, there’s an empty pizza box, and it smells a little like a morgue. Or at least I think It does; I’ve actually never been in a morgue, but if I had, I imagine it would smell a lot like this.
All of a sudden, my eye gets all slippery and I can’t see. This smell of what I’ve come to know as babies, begins to choke me and I can’t breathe. I can hear my friends Richard and Jonson running to help me, but when they arrive it’s too late. They disappear and suddenly, once again, I’m crying; then, I shrink.
I’m ready to take a nap; then all of a sudden, it smells like spring, and my eye begins to burn. When hand rubs me this time, if feels nice. Mmm I like this. I’ll take spring over babies any day. I start to relax then, abruptly, the wetness stops. It’s cold, then this fuzzy grey monster attacks me. Hey- what happened to fuzzy yellow monster?
Johnson, Richard and I, pack into Hanes-stripe and we head out. Normally the journey is painful and bumpy, but this time, it’s smooth; and we’re bopping along to the music. We could get used to this!
**RING & CHATTER**
“Hey Bobby! You going to the party tonight?” It smells like cotton candy.
“Yea, I’ll be there. You?”
“Of course! It’s the last party before we graduate.”
“I know! It’s going to be cool What’s your favorite color Lynn?”
**RING & Chatter**
“Red. I gotta go. See you later Bobby!”
“See you later Lynn”
It suddenly gets crowded. What the hell is happening? This day has been very weird!
The ride back to the morgue smelling place was just as smooth as the one to the cotton-candy place; only a bit faster. I could hear music playing in the background and when I peeked, I saw that the pizza box was gone and the room smelled less like a morgue.
**RING**
“Alright! I’ll be down in 30.”
Once again, my eye started to burn, and I’m all wet again. There were bubbles everywhere; I can hear Johnson and Richard were being suffocated by them. I wanted to save them; but luckily, water appeared and rinsed them away. Back in the room we could clearly see that it had been thoroughly cleaned and it smelled like vanilla. Nice! Fuzzy grey monster, from the morning, returned to say hi.
“Danny, can I use your Axe Body Spray?”
“Sure. It’s on the dresser.”
We were just hanging out with Fuzzy, when this Calvin Klein-Red guy came and locked us up. What’d he do that for? Jerk!
Then we started to suffocate again as some smelly mist attacked us. Cough! cough!
**HONK HONK**
“Alright Big B! You clean up well!”
“Shut up Ken!”
“Gonna hang out with Lynn at the party?”
“Of course.”
Outside the music was loud, and there were so many smells: one that reminded me of when I went swimming, another one that often makes us sleepy, and so many artificial fruity aromas.
“Bobby!”
“Hey Lynn!”
“Come with me now.” It’s getting tight again!
The music has gotten lower and this Calvin guy is seriously cramping our style.
**CLICK CLICK**
An unfamiliar hand touches me and my guys. Who the hell are you; with your long hair?
She has the same cotton-candy smell from earlier.
We’re all about to protest; but then she gets rid of Calvin. We’re free!
Her hand is soft, very soft; she touches her lips to me. What is she doing? I did not consent to this. But- it feels good, very good!
This pink thing comes out from between her lips and I get scared that she’s going to eat me. The pink think swirls around the tip of my head. This feels lovely! Then it swirls all the way down my body. Ooooh!!! She’s playing with Johnson and Richard and they seem to be unbothered. She brings her pink thing back to my top then she opens her mouth. It was a trap! She wanted to get my defenses down to bite me off and kill me in one swift motion. This is the end! I just know it! Good-bye Johnson! Good-by Richard!
The light fades as she draws me into her mouth; it’s warm, moist, and smells like peppermint. I feel something I can only describe as a pulse. I’m scared, but this feels amazing. There’s a soft humming then I can see the light again. With a blink of my eye, it’s dark and moist again; this time her pink thing tickles me a little bit too, then it starts to swirl around me, again. It feels amazing! But I brace myself, because I know it’s all an evil plot to kill me. JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!
Outside again, my eye is glossy, so I can’t see what’s going on. Her hand is holding onto my body, going up and down, up and down. This feels way better than when Other-Hand does it; it’s always too rough and way too fast.
I’m going in and out of focus, I hear Richard and Johnson screaming. Guys!!!! Then it’s silence. Oh no! She’s eaten them first! How much longer are you going to torture me? I try to yell, but all I can do is cry a little. Then I hear them coughing.
“Guys? You still there?”
“Yeah! We’re here. What was that? It was wet and it smelled like peppermint.”
“I don’t know. I think she’s going to eat us. I just want to say. I love you two and I’ll never fo-…”
I disappear back into her mouth. Things are going much faster this time. I think this is it. This is the end! Between pink thing, mouth, and hand, they all take turns with me and the guys. It begins to feel too good to fight anymore; then a feeling, that I can only describe as an explosion, happens into peppermint & cotton-candy’s mouth. I’m Dead!
Tales Of Toney 